A week in cake.



Monday –  Planned to meet up with Bubble and Squeak’s sisters.  Only one of them turned up due to  a last minute realisation that it was actually a school day for older one.  Cue an upset Bubble. Pulled it back with equine therapy and a slice of just-moist-enough Victoria sponge.  Cake points: 3

Tuesday – our Together Forever Day.  4 years in and we know better than to make a big thing of it. Instead we had salted caramel cake and chocolate fingers.  Cake points: 4

Wednesday – Intro to Non Violent Resistance training.  Have yet to be convinced about NVR, but this is mostly due to the evangelical zeal with which ‘graduate parents’ (yes! they really were referred to as such!) harped on about its effectiveness.  No cake available in training – had to make do with a Bourbon biscuit.  Cake points: 0.5

Thursday – Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy session with Bubble, who was very brave.  All of us in tears. Managed to break psychologist’s new sofa as Bubble launched herself at me.  Sofa repaired by @proseccosue (she’s a marvel, that woman).  Everyone very tired. Went for cappuccino cake, and a cappuccino.  Cake points: 4.

Friday – Assessment visit from Social Worker, who had closed our case only the week before.  Went swimmingly, and am expecting a positive result for Squeak in the not-too-distant future. Smashed social services’ paltry mid-week Bourbon offering with some extra posh chocolate cookies.

Topped off the week of cake by a visit to mum’s. She had made cheese scones. If there’s one thing better than cake it’s a decent warm scone baked with a loving heart. Cake points: 5.

Adoption? Its (easier with) a piece of cake.




This week we are going to be talking with Bubble’s Clinical Psychologist about schema focussed therapy.  I’ve just started reading about this, and am at a very early stage of understanding the theory. From what I’ve discovered so far, though, it seems to be a possible positive way forward.

Schemas can be seen as index cards, filed in the brain, with each one informing the person how to react to incoming information or stimuli.  If a child has endured trauma, neglect, abuse or deprivation, then the index cards will contain negative messages.

As they are stored in the brain’s amygdala, which is not amenable to logical analysis, the index cards’ messages are self perpetuating, resistant to change, and do not go away without therapeutic intervention. The child develops maladaptive coping ‘behaviours’ which respond to perceived triggers.

Psychologists have identified 18 early maladaptive schemas arranged into 5 domains.  Looking through the descriptions of these, we immediately recognised Bubble in some of them, particularly in the domain of disconnection and rejection. We linked in her history and her way of interpreting her world with the schemas.

Between sessions we have considered triggers, emotions and thoughts, and coping behaviours, and we will use our session this week with the Clinical Psychologist to reflect further on these.

The more I research therapeutic interventions, the more I am convinced that talking therapies, whilst having their place, are simply not enough to assist with changing the established patterns.

Perhaps we are beginning to find a way forward that will help us support Bubble more effectively. Time will tell.